Where’s My Mom Tribe? I See You

Mom tribe (n.): a group of like-minded mamas, who may or may not retain all of their sanity at the end of each day.

You might be a part of my mom tribe if you:

• have permanent ‘new-mom’ brain fog (let’s call it what it really is – ‘forever-mom’ brain fog)
• you just like saying ‘mom tribe’ because it makes you feel cool, hip and young (even though you’re actually just cold, wide-hipped, and hungry)
• can sense a poppy diaper a mile away (that look on his face…)
• love your organic/all-natural/whole-grain everything for your kids, but sneak your Cheez-its for yourself every time their back is turned. Hey, they’re made with real Cheez!
• just do not have time to design your own diapers (I just need something absorbent and soft, please!)
• spend 98% of your day wiping snotty, dripping noses (or chasing your kids around, saying ‘I need to wipe your nose. COME. HERE.)
• every time you open your mouth to say something, in the back of your mind you think, ‘I sound just like my mother.’
• get waaaay more excited by coupons and store rewards than you should (no. That’s not right. You should get excited! You’re saving money!! Dance and shout it from the top of the stairs!)
• are a master ninja – that baby falls asleep in your arms and no one, I mean no one, can contort their body like you to get him laid in the crib without waking up.
• you buy your child all sorts of brain-building toys (S.T.E.M. and all that), and your child shuns them all in favor of playing with the potato masher from the kitchen.
• don’t even remember what it was like to feel well rested; even when the kids stay at Grandma’s house, your body is still certain it needs to wake up at 5 a.m.
• relate to this chart more than you ever thought possible.
• love your kids more than life itself, and you would do anything if it meant they would snuggle up with you one more time.
• want to teach your children to be kind, loving and compassionate human beings, because the world needs more of those.
• are pretty sure you’re headed in the right direction, most of the time.
• but you’re still sure that you have no idea what you’re doing.
• you tell yourself: it’s okay; if I mess up the first one, I’ll do better with the second. (Just kidding. But at least it will make you feel better.)
• look at your search history and find it full of questions like ‘what does green snot mean?’ and ‘what to do when your child swallows toilet water?’**
• want so desperately to hang out with other mom friends, but you know every time you make plans, there’s a 70% chance one of you will cancel (thank you, naptime/activities/baby being born/new episode of your favorite show)
• want to make elaborate, fancy meals, but settle for macaroni and cheese with chopped up chicken sausage (because it’s like a gourmet hotdog – therefore healthy). 
• your children see pants as optional if you’re not leaving the house (because who wants to have to take off a toddler’s pants for every diaper change??)
• want to teach your children to be kind, loving and compassionate human beings, because the world needs more of those.
• are pretty sure you’re headed in the right direction, most of the time.
• but you’re still sure that you have no idea what you’re doing.
• you tell yourself: it’s okay; if I mess up the first one, I’ll do better with the second. (Just kidding. But at least it will make you feel better.)
• love your kids more than life itself, and you would do anything if it meant they would snuggle up with you one more time.

Mamas, you’re doing great. If your children are happy fed, and get a bath at least once a day week, you’re killing it! 

And if you think you’re part of my mom tribe, let me know! What other characteristics of our tribe am I missing? 

**The answers to those questions:

Green snot in the morning is normal – bacteria settles in overnight and turns it green. Green snot all day long for more than 1 day can mean an infection, potentially.

If your child swallows toilet water, give them a bath with soap and water. They’ll be fine unless they start acting sick.

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