Learning to Love My Postpartum Body – Pt. 1

image by Heather Hayes – Seven Nails Photography

I’ll admit – I did not gain a lot of weight when I was pregnant with my son; it was only 17 pounds total.

And I’ll also admit – he was over 8 pounds when he was born, so I was already down about 12 pounds by the time I came home from the hospital. And within the next 6 weeks, I lost the remaining 5 pounds.

It sounds like I had it easy.

But. 

We did not get pregnant easily; it took us 15 months of trying and a lot of stress, tests, etc. In the first 6 months of trying to get pregnant, I had to stop taking a medication and I gained almost 15 pounds. I held onto that 15 pounds for the next 9 months, so when we finally got pregnant, I was already 15 pounds heavier than I used to be.

So after we had our baby, I lost the ‘baby weight,’ but I’m still hanging on to 15 pounds of weight that I don’t need or want. On top of that, after having Camden, I have a new body shape that I’m not used to and I don’t really like. I used to have a straight, almost boyish figure, and now I have these wider hips that just don’t feel comfortable or like their mine. I have a sag to my stomach that makes me not want to wear a swimsuit. Even as I lost the baby weight and started to wear some of my old clothes, they fit differently and it was/is uncomfortable.

It feels like I’m living in someone else’s body.

Any other mamas feel that way after giving birth? Please tell me I’m not the only one.

But, I don’t want my child to grow up seeing a mama who hates her body and is uncomfortable in her own skin. I want to learn to be love this new body, because it did something amazing. It gave me the most wonderful blessing in my life, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

It has, so far, allowed me to feed our child for almost 8 months, and will hopefully let me continue for another 4 months at least.

It has learned how to function on zero sleep and a handful of Cheez-its, because Camden needs me more than I need sleep. Ha. 

It has let me learn what it means to love someone so much that I would do anything for him.

The thing is, I don’t think I have to look at what it is now and just accept it. So, I’m starting a workout program to get more fit/toned. Because if I can look at this new body shape, but see it start to be strong and healthy, I think I can learn to love it. I can show my child what it means to take care of yourself and be healthy.

And more than anything, I can love my body before we starting trying to have our next child, which will help me be easier on myself after he or she is born.

I’ll keep you updated as I get started on this journey!

What did you do to help yourself learn to love your new postpartum body?

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